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Articles > ENFJ and INFJ

ENFJ and INFJ Compatibility: Relationships, Friendships, and Partnerships

How compatible are ENFJ and INFJ patterns of communicating, thinking, and working?

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In this article, you’ll find a comparison of ENFJs and INFJs across five important personality domains: Interpersonal/Communication Style, Emotional Style, Intellectual Style, and Organizational Style.

One important note: the following comparisons cannot be made simply by comparing the cognitive functions (letters) of each personality type.

For this analysis, TraitLab gathered data about personality traits from thousands of participants who identified themselves as a particular type in the 16 Personality or Myers-Briggs framework.

The comparisons here show the average similarities and differences between ENFJs and INFJs. However, remember that all personality types are oversimplifications. For an assessment of your unique position in these areas, you’ll need a personalized assessment that doesn’t rely on personality types.

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ENFJ and INFJ Interpersonal and Communication Styles

Your particular style of communicating and interacting with others can be described fairly well by two dimensions: assertiveness and warmth.

Assertiveness describes your tendency to assert yourself, lead, and influence others in social situations, while warmth describes your tendencies to empathize and put others’ needs ahead of your own.

People with the same personality type often share some similarities in assertiveness and warmth. In the graph below, you can see where most ENFJs and most INFJs fall along both of these dimensions.

First, take a look at where people in each type, on average, fall in this interpersonal space.

ENFJ and INFJ comparison across interpersonal dimensions
A comparison of ENFJs and INFJs along interpersonal dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ENFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ENFJs fall in interpersonal space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for INFJs.

ENFJs often support, openly sympathize, and actively offer help to others At their best, they are gentle sympathizers, who are easily trusted and accepted. ENFJs may be overly revealing and have difficulty being alone. At their worst, they can require too much attention and admiration from others and be excessively involved in the affairs of others.

INFJs often agree, trust, and cooperate with others. At their best, they are friendly, affectionate, and bring out the warmth and sympathy in others. INFJs may be too agreeable and quick to compromise. At their worst, they may seek approval and agreement too much, and be dependent on the approval of other people.

One aspect that you and many INFJs have in common in their interpersonal warmth. Both ENFJs and INFJs tend to be on the friendlier side and are attentive to the needs and interests of other people, sometimes at the expense of your own goals.

One important difference between you and most INFJs is in your relative assertiveness and dominance in social situations. Like many ENFJs, you tend to be on the more assertive side and feel comfortable taking charge and making decisions. Often, this pairs well with INFJs more reserved and passive style, but you’ll want to be careful about being overly domineering, forceful, or direct. Unlike you, INFJs may need additional time and space to share their thoughts and ideas.

ENFJ and INFJ Emotional Styles

Another characteristic of your personality is your emotional style — your tendencies towards different kinds of moods. There are two dimensions that influence emotional style: arousal and valence.

Arousal describes your relative energy level across different situations. Those with high baseline levels of arousal tend to be generally more alert, active, and engaged, while those with a lower baseline are more reserved, subdued, and inhibited.

Valence describes whether these moods tend to be positive (pleasant) or negative (unpleasant). People with a more positively valenced style are more likely to experience emotions like joy, enthusiasm, satisfaction, and serenity. People with a more negatively valenced style are more likely to experience sadness, frustration, dissatisfaction, and anxiety.

The graph below shows where each type, on average, usually sits in this emotional space.

ENFJ and INFJ comparison across emotional (affective) dimensions
A comparison of ENFJs and INFJs along emotional (or affective) dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ENFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ENFJs fall in interpersonal space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for INFJs.

ENFJs tend to be energetic and enthusiastic across most situations. They take on new challenges with excitement, confidence, and a sense of adventure. ENFJs are usually more optimistic than most people, and they generally feel like they can handle what life throws at them.

INFJs have a tendency to be quiet and inhibited. Compared to most people, they can easily drift into gloom and melancholy. They see the glass as half-empty and have a more skeptical outlook and a hesitant approach to life. For better or worse, INFJs tend to notice the negatives in most situations. In stressful times, they are more likely to withdraw quietly and retreat inward, rather than share their frustration with others.

As with most ENFJs, you tend to have a higher baseline energy level than most INFJs. Between the two of you, you are more likely to seek out engaging activities — perhaps social events, outdoor adventures, or a new class, depending on your interests. However, you may find that most INFJs do not share your enthusiasm and excitement. In general, you likely crave stimulation more than your INFJ counterparts, and balancing your different appetites for excitement can be an ongoing challenge.

Another difference between ENFJs and INFJ is in their typical emotional valence, which describes tendencies towards positive or negative emotions. You and most ENFJs tend to fall on the more positive side. Compared to most INFJs, you and most ENFJs experience positive emotions such as joy, satisfaction, and happiness more often than most INFJs. INFJs have the opposite pattern, and they tend to gravitate towards more negative emotions.

These subtle emotional differences often surface in your reactions to new information. The same news that sparks enthusiasm in you and most ENFJs can induce worry in INFJs. Compared to ENFJs, most INFJs may need additional time and space to recover from stress.

ENFJ and INFJ Intellectual Styles

Your intellectual style describes how you receive, process, and pursue different kinds of information. Differences in intellectual style are captured well by two dimensions: ideas and aesthetics.

Ideas describes your appetite for new information and your interest in complex, challenging material. People high on the ideas dimension have an appreciation for complexity and technical details. People lower on ideas are less interested in learning for learning’s sake, and they prefer to simplify complex topics down to the essential details.

Aesthetics captures your relative interest and sensitivity to aesthetic information and its emotional impact. People higher on the aesthetics dimension usually have strong artistic interests and a deep appreciation for beauty in many forms. Those lower on aesthetics tend to value practical application over artistic merit and usually adhere to more conventional standards of beauty.

In the graph below, you’ll see where ENFJs and INFJs, on average, fall in this intellectual space.

ENFJ and INFJ comparison across intellectual dimensions
A comparison of ENFJs and INFJs along intellectual dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ENFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ENFJs fall in intellectual space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for INFJs.

Most ENFJs and INFJs overlap heavily in their intellectual style.

ENFJs and INFJs tend to be deep thinkers — bright, curious, and philosophical. They are highly receptive to new ideas and drawn to complex, abstract concepts. ENFJs and INFJs enjoy taking in large amounts of information and typically have one or more creative outlets.

As an ENFJ, you and many INFJs share a love of learning new, challenging ideas. You both appreciate complexity and nuance, and the two of you can spend hours discussing and debating a wide range of topics. When you are together, you often elevate the conversation to a more theoretical, philosophical level.

Likewise, both ENFJs and INFJs share a deep appreciation for beauty in the natural and artistic world. Both of you can easily become absorbed in aesthetic experiences and overcome with a sense of awe and wonder. The two of you can find common ground in your love of creative expression and unconventional approaches to life’s challenges.

ENFJ and INFJ Organizational Styles

Your organizational style describes your habits around organization and planning. Your organizational style influences how you structure your time and physical space. Differences in organizational style fall along two dimensions: industriousness and orderliness.

Industriousness describes your persistence, need for achievement, and intensity of focus. People higher on industriousness usually organize their behavior around a few important long-term goals. People lower on industriousness are usually more focused on the present and will more easily change their focus when new opportunities appear.

Orderliness describes your need for regularity, order, and structure in your environment. People higher on orderliness prefer tidy, organized physical spaces, detailed schedules, and reliable routines. People lower on orderliness can tolerate more disorganization and prefer a more spontaneous, unstructured approach.

The graph below shows the average position of ENFJs and INFJs along these dimensions of organizational style.

ENFJ and INFJ comparison across organizational dimensions
A comparison of ENFJs and INFJs along organizational dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ENFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ENFJs fall in organizational space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for INFJs.

Most ENFJs and INFJs share a similar organizational style.

ENFJs and INFJs are usually systematic and highly organized. They like setting big, long-term goals and then creating detailed plans to accomplish them. ENFJs and INFJs are generally good at ignoring distractions and making steady progress through consistent routines and habits.

As an ENFJ, you and most INFJs share a natural drive to achieve and perform at a high level. Both of you enjoy setting goals and pushing yourselves to accomplish them, and you likely share an interest in self-improvement and productivity strategies. As a result, you and your INFJ counterpart can fuel each other’s ambition and keep each other accountable as you work towards your long-term goals. However, between the two of you, nobody usually reminds you to slow down and enjoy the present.

Similarly, ENFJs and INFJs tend to be neat, tidy, and organized. You both rely on high amounts of structure and routine and compared to most people, you have lower tolerances for messiness and disorder. With a few exceptions, both of you stick closely to most social conventions and feel uncomfortable straying from them.

How to identify your closest personality type

Most people have complex personalities and don’t fall into a single personality type.

With TraitLab’s comprehensive analyses of your traits, strengths, and interests, you can see how your personality compares to all 16 types. Start building your personality profile by creating a free account today.

ENFJ compatibility with other types

For comparisons between ENFJs and other types from the 16 Personality typology, visit any of the type pairings below:

ENFJ Compatibility with Other Enneagram Types

For comparisons between ENFJs and other Enneagram types, visit any of the type pairings below:

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