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ESFJ and ESTJ Compatibility: Relationships, Friendships, and Partnerships

How compatible are ESFJ and ESTJ patterns of communicating, thinking, and working?

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In this article, you’ll find a comparison of ESFJs and ESTJs across five important personality domains: Interpersonal/Communication Style, Emotional Style, Intellectual Style, and Organizational Style.

One important note: the following comparisons cannot be made simply by comparing the cognitive functions (letters) of each personality type.

For this analysis, TraitLab gathered data about personality traits from thousands of participants who identified themselves as a particular type in the 16 Personality or Myers-Briggs framework.

The comparisons here show the average similarities and differences between ESFJs and ESTJs. However, remember that all personality types are oversimplifications. For an assessment of your unique position in these areas, you’ll need a personalized assessment that doesn’t rely on personality types.

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ESFJ and ESTJ Interpersonal and Communication Styles

Your particular style of communicating and interacting with others can be described fairly well by two dimensions: assertiveness and warmth.

Assertiveness describes your tendency to assert yourself, lead, and influence others in social situations, while warmth describes your tendencies to empathize and put others’ needs ahead of your own.

People with the same personality type often share some similarities in assertiveness and warmth. In the graph below, you can see where most ESFJs and most ESTJs fall along both of these dimensions.

First, take a look at where people in each type, on average, fall in this interpersonal space.

ESFJ and ESTJ comparison across interpersonal dimensions
A comparison of ESFJs and ESTJs along interpersonal dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ESFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ESFJs fall in interpersonal space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for ESTJs.

ESFJs often agree, trust, and cooperate with others. At their best, they are friendly, affectionate, and bring out the warmth and sympathy in others. ESFJs may be too agreeable and quick to compromise. At their worst, they may seek approval and agreement too much, and be dependent on the approval of other people.

ESTJs are assertive, competitive, and like a good challenge. At their best, they are bold and confident leaders who are willing to take unpopular action. ESTJs may be overly proud, boisterous, and willing to manipulate others to achieve their goals. At their worst, they can be narcissistic, overly focused on their own needs, and lack empathy for others.

One notable difference between many ESFJs and most ESTJs is in your interpersonal warmth. Like many ESFJs, you are more likely on the warmer, friendlier, more empathetic side of the spectrum. Compared to you and other ESFJs, ESTJs’ interpersonal style can sometimes feel distant, cold, and uninterested in your wants and needs.

Another important difference between you and most ESTJs is in your relative assertiveness or passivity in social situations. Like many ESFJs, you are often on the more passive, reserved side of the spectrum. In some cases, this is a perfect compliment to ESTJs’ more dominant, assertive style, and the two of you can make an effective team. However, you may find that you need to put extra effort into making your opinions heard when working with ESTJs.

ESFJ and ESTJ Emotional Styles

Another characteristic of your personality is your emotional style — your tendencies towards different kinds of moods. There are two dimensions that influence emotional style: arousal and valence.

Arousal describes your relative energy level across different situations. Those with high baseline levels of arousal tend to be generally more alert, active, and engaged, while those with a lower baseline are more reserved, subdued, and inhibited.

Valence describes whether these moods tend to be positive (pleasant) or negative (unpleasant). People with a more positively valenced style are more likely to experience emotions like joy, enthusiasm, satisfaction, and serenity. People with a more negatively valenced style are more likely to experience sadness, frustration, dissatisfaction, and anxiety.

The graph below shows where each type, on average, usually sits in this emotional space.

ESFJ and ESTJ comparison across emotional (affective) dimensions
A comparison of ESFJs and ESTJs along emotional (or affective) dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ESFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ESFJs fall in interpersonal space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for ESTJs.

Most ESFJs and ESTJs overlap heavily in their emotional style.

ESFJs and ESTJs tend to be energetic and enthusiastic across most situations. They take on new challenges with excitement, confidence, and a sense of adventure. ESFJs and ESTJs are usually more optimistic than most people, and they generally feel like they can handle what life throws at them.

Like most ESFJs, you and many ESTJs share a relatively high energy level. You both prefer to be in motion, actively engaged in something interesting, rather than sitting back and observing. In the best case, the two of you feed off the other’s energy and excitement, and there’s rarely a quiet moment when you’re together.

Likewise, both ESFJs and ESTJs are generally more positive than negative. They are more likely to express enthusiasm, satisfaction, happiness, and other positive emotions across most situations. Like everyone else, they occasionally experience negative emotions like sadness, anxiety, and anger, but they soon return to their usual pleasant state. Together, ESFJs and ESTJs tend to share an optimistic outlook and a resilience to stress.

ESFJ and ESTJ Intellectual Styles

Your intellectual style describes how you receive, process, and pursue different kinds of information. Differences in intellectual style are captured well by two dimensions: ideas and aesthetics.

Ideas describes your appetite for new information and your interest in complex, challenging material. People high on the ideas dimension have an appreciation for complexity and technical details. People lower on ideas are less interested in learning for learning’s sake, and they prefer to simplify complex topics down to the essential details.

Aesthetics captures your relative interest and sensitivity to aesthetic information and its emotional impact. People higher on the aesthetics dimension usually have strong artistic interests and a deep appreciation for beauty in many forms. Those lower on aesthetics tend to value practical application over artistic merit and usually adhere to more conventional standards of beauty.

In the graph below, you’ll see where ESFJs and ESTJs, on average, fall in this intellectual space.

ESFJ and ESTJ comparison across intellectual dimensions
A comparison of ESFJs and ESTJs along intellectual dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ESFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ESFJs fall in intellectual space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for ESTJs.

Most ESFJs and ESTJs overlap heavily in their intellectual style.

ESFJs and ESTJs are practical realists. They focus on building practical skills and essential knowledge and are less likely to spend time learning for learning’s sake. In addition, they usually value conventional, tangible accomplishments over artistic expression and rarely feel compelled to develop a creative outlet.

As an ESFJ, you and most ESTJs are down-to-earth, straightforward thinkers. You’d both prefer to stick to the essentials and focus on practical issues, and you try to avoid overcomplicating matters. When you and your ESTJ counterpart are together, your conversations are more likely to revolve around concrete details, facts, and conventional topics rather than theoretical or philosophical ones.

Likewise, ESFJs and ESTJs share an appreciation for practical, tangible accomplishments over artistic expression. ESFJs and ESTJs are both likely to embrace conventional ways of thinking, and both types are more skeptical of eccentric or unusual approaches to solving problems.

ESFJ and ESTJ Organizational Styles

Your organizational style describes your habits around organization and planning. Your organizational style influences how you structure your time and physical space. Differences in organizational style fall along two dimensions: industriousness and orderliness.

Industriousness describes your persistence, need for achievement, and intensity of focus. People higher on industriousness usually organize their behavior around a few important long-term goals. People lower on industriousness are usually more focused on the present and will more easily change their focus when new opportunities appear.

Orderliness describes your need for regularity, order, and structure in your environment. People higher on orderliness prefer tidy, organized physical spaces, detailed schedules, and reliable routines. People lower on orderliness can tolerate more disorganization and prefer a more spontaneous, unstructured approach.

The graph below shows the average position of ESFJs and ESTJs along these dimensions of organizational style.

ESFJ and ESTJ comparison across organizational dimensions
A comparison of ESFJs and ESTJs along organizational dimensions. The blue dot shows the average position of ESFJs, and the blue circle shows where roughly 50% of ESFJs fall in organizational space. The orange dot and circle show similar positions for ESTJs.

Most ESFJs and ESTJs share a similar organizational style.

ESFJs and ESTJs are usually systematic and highly organized. They like setting big, long-term goals and then creating detailed plans to accomplish them. ESFJs and ESTJs are generally good at ignoring distractions and making steady progress through consistent routines and habits.

As an ESFJ, you and most ESTJs share a natural drive to achieve and perform at a high level. Both of you enjoy setting goals and pushing yourselves to accomplish them, and you likely share an interest in self-improvement and productivity strategies. As a result, you and your ESTJ counterpart can fuel each other’s ambition and keep each other accountable as you work towards your long-term goals. However, between the two of you, nobody usually reminds you to slow down and enjoy the present.

Similarly, ESFJs and ESTJs tend to be neat, tidy, and organized. You both rely on high amounts of structure and routine and compared to most people, you have lower tolerances for messiness and disorder. With a few exceptions, both of you stick closely to most social conventions and feel uncomfortable straying from them.

How to identify your closest personality type

Most people have complex personalities and don’t fall into a single personality type.

With TraitLab’s comprehensive analyses of your traits, strengths, and interests, you can see how your personality compares to all 16 types. Start building your personality profile by creating a free account today.

ESFJ compatibility with other types

For comparisons between ESFJs and other types from the 16 Personality typology, visit any of the type pairings below:

ESFJ Compatibility with Other Enneagram Types

For comparisons between ESFJs and other Enneagram types, visit any of the type pairings below:

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